You could spend your life in the rigorous pursuit of lies, but it would probably turn you into a pretty bitter, unpleasant person.
After all, everyone lies. Your friends lie. Your children lie. You lie. Heck, even your sweet, old pie-baking Great Aunt Mabel lies. And you know what? Your not going to change any of that, nor are you going to come out ahead by deducing that the secret recipe for Great Aunt Mabel’s celebrated strawberry rhubarb pie involves one ingredient only: a trip to the local bakery.
So how do you come out ahead? By trusting in Aunt Mabel until she gives you a reason not to. Enter Truth Wizardry.
Seek and You Shall Receive
There’s a reason we don’t call ourselves Lie Wizards. By focusing on seeking the truth instead of outing lies, Truth Wizards not only gain access to meaningful information, but also deepen their trust in others. The result? Healthier, happier and more fulfilling relationships.
We’ve already covered that “deception expert” is another name for “Truth Wizard,” and it is true that Truth Wizards are trained in the specifics of identifying lies. These skills will undeniably come in handy; in fact they may change your life.
But learning to trust offers the ultimate life-changing potential. Why? Because trusting offers the invaluable opportunity to truly connect, while doubting leads to paranoia, estrangement and isolation.
The Problem with Suspicion
Not only is the ability to trust good for us as humans, but it’s also good for us as Truth Wizards. The widely accepted “Veracity Effect,” indicates that honest messages are easier to deduce than lies. Furthermore, suspicion can bias your findings and result in decreased accuracy when assessing honesty. In other words, the capability to trust actually hones our abilities across a variety of psychological factors, including spotting lies more easily along with the more accurate assessment of others.
Reap What You Sow
The payoffs of learning to trust are significant, and include everything from better hiring results in the office to deeper, more authentic relationships.
On the other hand, people who don’t or can’t trust are not only bad at spotting lies in others, but equally inferior about identifying and understanding their own deceptions.
The Power Is In You
Of course, there’s a difference between trust and gullibility. Deception expert Janine Driver has coined the phrase “BS Barometer” to help aspiring Truth Wizards distinguish between the two.
And while the term may be novel, the premise isn’t: these instincts exist innately within us, although for most people they have been dulled by the passage of time. In her book, “You Can’t Lie to Me,” Driver explains that the key to harnessing these powers is not in learning something new but in tapping into that forgotten ability, recalibrating and refining it.
The most effective Truth Wizards subscribe to the tenet, “Innocent until proven guilty,” and they have significantly better deception skills to show for it. In closing, consider this: why expect the worst from others when you can learn more from expecting the best?
Until we visit again ...
Keep It Real and Always Live at Level 10,
- Mark Call
Truth Wizards Radio Podcast Host
'Certified' Body Language Trainer